AGAINST DISCRIMINATION - Learnings of a Trans Child's Dad

Love, acceptance, bewilderment… the journey of a trans child’s dad – so far.

Below is what Nick Mann, the father of a trans child, posted on LinkedIn a couple of weeks ago. His post prompted our conversation here. I believe there are many people out there who want to understand trans people and issues better, but are fearful of asking the questions which might lead to clarity and better understanding. It's Nick's and my hope that this conversation might help. After all, all each of us really wants is to be loved, accepted, understood, and to belong.

Please listen.

Today is #IDAHOBIT, the International Day Against LGBTIQA+ Discrimination.Ordinarily I watch organisations on social media change their logo and branding in a nod to the rainbow 🌈…. And then the circus moves town.

Ordinarily I keep quiet on days like this.

But I am part of a rainbow family. We have a trans kid.

And I live in an council area where, this week especially, it feels like kids and families like mine are under attack online for reasons I can’t get my head around.

So this year I can and need to do more today than to change the Polaris logo for 24 hours.

I don’t believe that arguing online is the way to better understanding or shifting viewpoints.

And neither is putting a rainbow flag in our corporate logo.

A lot of people are scared to ask questions that might lead to clarity or understanding, and instead there are folks left with fear or anger around the issue.

And so this week, as an idahobit day special, I’m going to do something a bit different. I’m going to open a series of 1 on 1 “Ask Me Anything” sessions online.

The offer: Send me a linked in message and I’ll invite you to a 30 minute 1 on 1 video call where we can have a conversation.

Here are the guidelines:

1. You consider yourself “gender critical” or a trans skeptic, or on the fence. You might be against drag story time, you might feel opposed to trans athletes in women’s sport. You might wonder if people are becoming trans because it’s popular or cool.

2. We ensure the other has a chance to be heard.

3. We approach in good faith. If you’re committed to spend 30 minutes shouting about “grooming” children - we aren’t going to get along.

4. No judgement, no name calling. I won’t out you or quote you online. I’ll keep to myself whatever you say or ask me.

6. I’m not an expert and I don’t speak on behalf of anyone - I have only 1 perspective, have had exactly 1 real life crash course in trans issues as a parent, and I have 30 minutes to chat without judgment or shouting or name calling. So don’t be shy - I know you’re out there - get in touch!

And for those just watching on while eating some popcorn ….Wish me luck.


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