I was listening in on one of my husband’s piano lessons. His student was playing a piece much more quickly than he needed to, making it almost impossible to play well, and certainly impossible for the student to enjoy playing!
Mark (my husband) said to him – “Let it be easy. This is easy for you. Just slow down and do whatever you need to do to let it be easy. Just enjoy the music.”
Woah. All at once a different student. He relaxed. This wasn’t about proving something! All at once a different, exquisite piece of music. All at once, the student discovered the ability to be present in the music. Let it be easy. En-joy it.
Over my career I witnessed it over and over again – both in myself and in others. We’d choose ever more difficult pieces. As students we’d choose pieces to perform or audition with which were slightly beyond our technical capacity at that time. The pianist chooses a recital programme which would have the great Horowitz quailing in his shoes… Growing and taking on challenges is great! But this was more than that.
It’s usually us making things hard for ourselves. Let it be easy.
And we do it in our everyday lives. We book in an unreasonable number of tasks for the day. We try to multi-task. We have some down time and fill it with exercise or podcasts or calls or other noise. We constantly let our mind go to what needs to be done next. We don’t allow ourselves enough time to get from A to B, and that’s stressful. Do do do… We try to get ALL of the homeschooling tasks done with the kids. We don’t just eat when we’re having lunch – we read or make calls or sit at the computer… We so often don’t let it be easy. We don’t choose ease.
Where does all this come from? Why don’t we choose ease?
Do any of these statements resonate with you?
I don’t deserve to nurture me. I don’t deserve (self-) love. (You feel guilty about having time for yourself.)
I feel guilty when I’m not busy.
I have to constantly achieve to feel important/valued.
If things are easy I feel lazy.
I feel like things worth doing have to be hard.
I feel like others will judge me if I’m not busy.
I have a niggling sense that I don’t deserve lightness, fun, ease.
Whatever I do, I feel like it’s not enough.
There might be other statements that come to mind for you. And yes – it’s just what you learned about yourself and the world when you were a kid. They’re random ideas which you didn’t have the capacity to reject back then, but you certainly can now. And it’s high time…
How about this instead?
Feel how your body responds when you say these to yourself:
I love downtime and I deserve it. It feeds my soul, and I deserve that.
I get to enjoy simply being. I don’t have to be active doing all the time. That’s counterproductive anyway.
I’m important exactly as I am. I’m a good person. I don’t need to do anything in order to be important. I just am.
I choose ease in my day. Whatever I do, I’m going to have as much fun doing it as I possibly can.
Things don’t have to be hard. I can let them be easeful.
I like me. It doesn’t matter what other people think. I like me, and that’s what matters.
I deserve light, fun ease! I deserve to feel great and have lots of energy.
I am enough. Exactly as I am, I’m enough.
Mmmm… Feels good, doesn’t it? Did you get pushback when you read any of those statements? If you did, that’ll be the first one to knock on the head. (I’ve written about how you can change these things in other blogs, so check them out or download my e-book, please scroll down at the bottom of the homepage to download)
Let’s bring some realism back in. We’re not being fluffy here.
Life is NEVER going to be all ease, no matter how much we might like it to be (and would we like that, really?). It just doesn’t work that way. We all know that. Tough things are going to happen.
The point here is that we so often make things more difficult for ourselves than we need to. We create our own Difficult. We choose ‘hard’ and not ‘easeful’. So how about switching that? These things don’t need to take weeks of habit changing, or hours of reflection. Nope. It’s about making a decision.
I choose ease. Whatever I’m doing, I choose ease. As I’m planning my day or week, I choose ease. I give myself that gift. As I consider a usually less-than-enjoyable task (doing the taxes, just for example!), I imagine it being easeful. What’s it like when it’s easeful?
It’s time to give yourself a break, and give yourself the gift of ease. Once again, it’s about being the change we want to see in the world.
Those pesky limiting beliefs and niggling guilt can be hard to shift. Get in touch if you’d like some support.