We like to think we’re making well-informed, logical decisions, behaving in a rational way, running the show that is our life. We like to THINK that. But it’s the stuff that’s going on unnoticed, whilst we’re busy thinking mostly - psychologists estimate 70% -negative and redundant thoughts, that’s got control here. The stuff’s that running our lives is running on autopilot., without our even noticing.
BUT HOW’S THIS HAPPENING?
Well, let me explain.
Our brain likes to create coherence between our unconscious programmes, and our reality, so it generates behaviours consistent with those programmes. This is the brain’s way of seeking harmony – it does everything it can to make sure that the mind’s perceptions and our experience of life match.
WHAT ARE THESE ‘PROGRAMMES’ YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT?
There are three ways our unconscious is ‘programmed’. The programmes I’m talking about are reflected materially in our biology – in our neural networks, in the way our biology responds to emotions, in the way proteins respond to perceptions and environmental signals in order to create the functions of life, for example.
Tell me more…
WHAT ARE THE 3 WAYS I GOT ‘PROGRAMMED’?
1. The first is genome programming. In other words, genetically inherited instincts. What we refer to as nature. This is pretty self-explanatory. This includes our fight, flight, freeze (appease) response.
2. The second is memories stored in our unconscious mind - in other words, what we refer to as nurture. These are learned perceptions which start when we’re in utero.
The foetal nervous system has been proven to record experiences whilst in the womb. By the time we’re born, emotional information taken on from the mother’s experience whilst pregnant with us has already formed a large part of our personality!
However, the strongest, most foundational of these programmes are laid from when we’re born to 6 years old. During this period we’re in an accelerated learning state, downloading massive amounts of information about the world and our role in it, in order to survive.
The problem with this is that we can’t analyse or reject ideas. Our perceptions become our accepted truth, and through the brain’s drive for coherence, this becomes our reality.
Perceptions acquired during this 0-6 period can actually override our genetically inherited instincts.
3. The third way we become programmed is though actions of the conscious mind.
The conscious mind is our creative platform which is capable of mixing and adapting perceptions and beliefs. It can create beliefs and behaviours. This is what allows us humans free will.
WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
What this all means is that unless we ‘get’ how our mind works, and become aware of our ‘programmes’, we’re really not running our own show! We’re actually the author of our own disappointments.
Let’s just say you consciously want that promotion and consciously know you deserve it. However, way back when, you were at the shops with your dad, you wanted an icecream, Dad said ‘no’. You threw a toddler tantrum hissy fit and Dad, totally exasperated, said: “you don’t deserve it”…. Ooh…. There’s a programme right there. You don’t deserve what you want. Yep, it can happen that easily. You were a sponge at that age!
At that age, in your accelerated learning phase, you also had a completely different understanding of time. You didn’t know that not deserving what you want was relevant just to that particular event, at that particular time. Nope. You accepted that as the forever Truth!
This belief then becomes your reality for the rest of your life – in seeking coherence and harmony, your brain makes sure you generate behaviours consistent with the belief: “I don’t deserve what I want.”
(Faarrrrr out… I know – you parents out there are freaking out, aren’t you?)
I CAN CHANGE THE PROGRAMMES!
Yep – anything that’s been programmed can be deprogrammed and reprogrammed! That’s where free will, the actions of our conscious mind, come into play.
So, becoming aware (ie. conscious) of our programmes and the way our brain and mind work, provides us with the doorway to positive change. It provides us the first step in truly taking control of our lives.
Now, you can’t change your unconscious patterns by engaging in a one-sided conversation with your unconscious, though. That won’t work. That’d be like trying to do the gardening by talking to the shovel. No – changing your programmes requires that you use ways of communicating with your unconscious in its own language. Reason won’t work. Positive thinking won’t work.
We’ve got to accept that our lives are not controlled by our conscious wishes or intentions.
SO HOW DO I DO IT?
Well, that’s a whole other thing – more about that another time. Most importantly, though, know that you can change. You can know, in every part of you, that you deserve success – however that looks for you. You can shatter those glass ceilings you’ve been facing your whole life.
For now, though, just sit with this new understanding. Begin to become aware of your programmes. Question any negative ideas you have about yourself. It can be tricky to be that objective about ourselves. It can be tricky to make the unconscious, conscious – especially when it’s all tied up with our identity. I know that.
You’re reading this for a reason, though. See how you go.
And if you want more guidance, download my free e-book (‘7 Steps to Effective and Lasting Change: How to harness the power of your unconscious mind and live the life you want’) from the bottom of my homepage: www.iamsallywilson.com
If you don’t want to do this alone, you don’t have to! Book in a complimentary strategy session with me on my website, and we can explore the possibilities together.
But RIGHT NOW, whatever you choose to do, go and take that first step into the life you want…
You deserve it.