A very wise, insightful friend of mine posed these questions a few years ago and they stuck with me:
Why are we expected to have a life’s purpose?
Why do we expect to have a life’s purpose and to know what it is?
Is there anything wrong with not having one?
WHY A ‘WHY’?
It’s a mountain of pressure to put on ourselves, isn’t it? It’s loaded. The trendy way of putting it is “knowing your WHY”.
Ugh. I don’t know about you, but I’m over it. Knowing (or thinking we know) our Why and our purpose is over-rated and unnecessary to a fulfilled meaningful life, in my book. In fact, it can cause an underlying fear which divorces us from our joy and pleasure in life and cut us off from the things that really matter!
YOUR PURPOSE – YOUR BEING
How about knowing that just by being here, living your life as best you can, you’re fulfilling your purpose? Throw in some sincere effort in trying to be kind and loving to yourself as well as others as much of the time as you can, and you’ve pretty much got it.
That’s it! Feel your way into that. Does it make you want to sigh with relief or panic with resistance?!
If it makes you want to panic, just allow for the possibility that you have absolutely nothing to prove to yourself or anyone.
Allow for the possibility that You. Are. Enough.
Allow for the possibility that, no matter what life throws at you, you’ll handle it.
Allow for the possibility that you’re meant to be here, simply being the You you are right now.
There’s nothing to improve. Nothing you have to work on. Nothing to fix… It can feel like that, you know.
For 20 years, singing and performing were my ‘purpose’. It was so simple. Some people do know what their ‘purpose’ is, and that’s great. Knowing it, at least for the present, is calming. There’s clarity. I totally took it for granted.
Then I decided to quit my international operatic career…
Woah. That’s when the excrement hit the fan and I had a ‘Purpose Crisis’. AND it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me! It shook me up. It woke me up! It tore me away from my limited, self-imposed ‘singer’ identity and showed me that when I’m aligned in my feelings, when I’m living in a state of love and joy, the need for a purpose entirely disappears.
The old drive to ‘do’ and achieve is gone and the funny thing is, things just happen. I’m actually doing and achieving more now than I ever did before and frankly, I don’t care! Life flows with oh so much more ease. (Hey – not all the time! We’re all human and we’re always going to have times of resistance and challenge, ups and downs – and that’s a good thing! I’m certainly not living in a state of bliss all the time BUT I’m in it a lot more than I was.)
NO PUSHING DOESN’T MEAN NO ACHIEVING
We tend to believe that if we’re not hustling, stuff won’t get done. Au contraire, my experience has shown me – both with my clients and personally. More things get done with more ease without the striving or worrying or pushing. Even effort and discipline feel lighter and more fun. Even the daily grind is less effort.
When we’re in that delicious, thriving, creative state, and out of a stressed survival state, stuff gets done without the strain and drain of the hustle and push. Life flows. Our blinkers are off and we notice ideas and opportunities that appear from left field! Hustle and push doesn’t allow for that.
WE DON’T NEED TO KNOW. JUST CHOOSE.
Do we ever truly know what our purpose is? Do we need to? Most of us can only guess at it, basing our guess on our familiar frame of experience, perspective and projection as we grow and change throughout our life.
How about choosing it instead? How about choosing your purpose? It can be fluid. It can be whatever you choose.
WORDS FROM WISE ONES
Ponderings Magazine’s Editor in Chief, Kirsten MacDonald*, whilst living with an inoperable brain aneurism which could rupture and kill her any day, anytime, celebrates a life of choice! A life where you may choose to watch the grass grow, and that’s great. A life where you may choose to, in her words, “smash it”, and that’s great too. A life where you consciously choose how and with whom to spend your precious time.
Judith Richards*, Creator of The Richards Trauma Process and beloved mentor of mine suggests the same – “Don’t wait to find your life’s purpose. CHOOSE it.”
So, in the words of ConsciousNet cofounder, Justin Cooper*, another person I feel fortunate to have in my life, despite having been acquainted for just a short time:
We need to stop worrying about why we’re here, and step into the joy.
I’m with you, as you choose to step into your own, distinct, precious joy. I give you full, unbridled permission!
If you need help doing this, get in touch.
*Kirsten Macdonald, Judith Richards and Justin Cooper will all be joining me as a guests on our podcast, “BEING” with Sally Wilson. Be sure to connect with me on social media to have the opportunity to ask them questions. They’re inspiring, extraordinary, and yet (they would want me to add) utterly ordinary human beings, and you don’t want to miss hearing them.
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